{"id":3777,"date":"2015-10-11T13:01:40","date_gmt":"2015-10-11T06:01:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/martianuswb.com\/?p=3777"},"modified":"2015-12-21T22:41:13","modified_gmt":"2015-12-21T15:41:13","slug":"kaum-piyambakan-mereka-yang-termarjinalkan-di-gereja","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/martianuswb.com\/?p=3777","title":{"rendered":"Kaum piyambakan: mereka yang termarjinalkan di gereja"},"content":{"rendered":"

*) Piyambakan (bahasa Jawa): sendirian<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Lebih sering disebut dengan para jomblo \u2013 meski di sini saya lebih memilih menyebut dengan nama kaum piyambakan<\/em> \u2013 adalah mereka yang tanpa kita sadar merupakan kelompok termarjinalkan di dalam gereja. Baik secara sengaja atau tidak sengaja, gereja meminggirkan kaum piyambakan ini. Meski sebenarnya hanya untuk bercanda, kita \u2013 termasuk saya \u2013 sering merundung kaum piyambakan.<\/p>\n

Cindy Brandt<\/strong><\/em> dalam bukunya Outside In: Ten Christian Voices We Can’t Ignore<\/strong><\/em>, menunjukkan bahwa salah satu kelompok terpinggirkan dalam gereja adalah kaum piyambakan ini. Gereja tanpa sadar memandang kaum piyambakan sebagai kelompok kedua. Kok bisa? Berapa kali kita mendengar bahwa unit terkecil dalam gereja itu adalah keluarga? Gereja sering memandang bahwa berkeluarga itu adalah status yang lebih tinggi daripada piyambakan. Ayo jujur saja, apakah gereja kita mensyaratkan sudah berkeluarga untuk menjadi majelis gereja?<\/p>\n

Seberapa sering kita bertanya kepada kaum piyambakan ini kalau mereka sedang di gereja, \u201csendirian saja?\u201d<\/strong><\/span>. Saya yakinkan Anda, saya sangat sering menerima pertanyaan itu kalau sedang ada undangan khotbah, \u201cSendirian saja, mas?\u201d<\/strong><\/span>. Pengin sih saya jawab, \u201cIni bareng Tuhan Yesus\u201d, cuma kok ya jadi tidak etis.<\/p>\n

Begini, saya ini mengamati ada yang sebelum menikah begitu efektif dalam pelayanan, tetapi menjadi mundur saat sudah menikah. Tapi, saya juga melihat banyak yang setelah menikah dan berkeluarga menjadi lebih efektif dalam melayani Tuhan. Artinya, tidak ada bukti sahih bahwa mereka yang sudah berkeluarga lebih efektif melayani daripada yang piyambakan, ataupun sebaliknya.<\/p>\n

Saya sampai kepada pemahaman ini, tidak menikah itu panggilan, dan menikah juga adalah panggilan. Tidak ada jaminan bahwa yang tidak menikah itu lebih kudus daripada yang menikah atau sebaliknya. Yang menikah punya perjuangan sendiri, demikian juga yang tidak menikah memiliki pergumulan sendiri.<\/p>\n

But Jesus said, \u201cNot everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone\u201d.[1<\/a>]<\/sup><\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kita ini seringkali karena dorongan kasih kita menjadi tidak bijak. Saat melihat saudara-saudara kita yang sudah cukup usia, pertanyaan-pertanyaan semacam \u201cSendirian?\u201d<\/strong><\/span> atau \u201cKapan?\u201d<\/strong><\/span>. Karena kita tidak tahu apakah mereka merasa tersinggung atau tidak, ada baiknya kita mengurangi ketidakbijakan kita yang seperti itu. Doakan saja dalam kasih.<\/p>\n

Bagi yang masih piyambakan, saya baru saja menemukan sebuah pernyataan ini \u201cyang paling baik adalah menunggu waktunya Tuhan\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/span>.<\/span> Bulan Maret kemarin ada tulisan dari Samuel Kevin Setiawan<\/strong><\/span> yang ditaruh di grup kami, judulnya indah \u201cTo Be Single, Is It A Problem?\u201d<\/strong>. Saya sarankan kawan-kawan kaum piyambakan membaca tulisannya di bawah ini. Dalam bahasa Inggris memang, cuma mudah dipahami kok. Saya belum akan menerjemahkannya, sekiranya dibutuhkan terjemahan dalam bahasa Indonesia, silakan tulis di komentar akan saya tambahkan nanti.<\/p>\n

To be Single, Is it a problem?<\/b><\/u><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Genesis 2:18..<\/b>The LORD God said, <\/span>“It is not good for the man to be <\/span>alone<\/b><\/i><\/span>. I will make a helper suitable for him.” <\/span><\/p>\n

To be <\/b><\/span>alone<\/b><\/i><\/span> is not the same as to be <\/b><\/span>single<\/b><\/i><\/span>.<\/i><\/span>.. When Adam was created, he was still single<\/span>.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Genesis 1:31.. <\/span>God saw all that he had made, and <\/span>it was very good<\/b><\/i><\/span>. And there was evening, and there was morning\u2014the sixth day.<\/span><\/p>\n

The existence of Adam as a single person is part of God’s creation which was already very good.<\/span><\/p>\n

Single: Undivided\/ unbroken, already complete<\/span>. Adam was already complete. He was busy taking care the garden. And when God gave him Eve, he was not thinking of needing a partner. <\/span><\/p>\n

So, the verse of <\/span>Genesis 2:18 is not about seeking for a partner of life<\/span>.. It is about the nature of man who is a social creature. Man cannot live alone, we need community, we need other people to live with, and not necessarily a spouse. Because the most needed person we need is God Himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

We are created to be part of His family forever in heaven.<\/span><\/p>\n

It doesn’t matter whether married or not.. Lord Jesus is a unmarried person, Paul is also known as a single person.<\/span><\/p>\n

It is true that <\/span>not many are called to live unmarried<\/b><\/i><\/span>, but it is <\/span>better not to be married than married to a <\/b><\/i><\/span>wrong<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span> person.<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Do not expect to find a partner just because we need someone to fill our emptiness<\/b><\/span>… No body can fill our emptiness, do not be fooled.. No one can do, except God Himself.. <\/span><\/p>\n

God has put an emptiness in man’s soul and only Him who can fill it up. We are created to have fellowship with God.<\/span><\/p>\n

The problem of many young people now, even the adult, is they do not depend on God to fill their emptiness. They try <\/span>through their on way<\/span> (influenced by the world’s way) to find someone who they think can help to fill their emptiness. Moreover, when their surroundings (family, friends) urge them to have a partner of life.<\/span><\/p>\n

No wonder if many are trapped with the relation they know from movie or celebrities even from their families. Fragile relation, and it gets worse if already tied in marriage. They are difficult to be faithful to their spouse, especially after they find out that their emptiness is not fulfilled. This is the moment when unfaithfulness starts. They will try to find someone else who they think can fulfil their needs. They will not find one, and when they are doing the search, it will cause problems in the family life.<\/span><\/p>\n

We need to be a true single person before we can have a true relation with someone. Being a true single is when we know that God is enough for us, and we do not need anyone else to fill our emptiness. <\/span><\/p>\n

The good time to have a partner of life is when we can live without anyone<\/b><\/span>. A spouse is needed only to make us <\/span>more effective<\/b><\/span> in doing God’s will. A spouse must be someone who really loves God and does not need us to fulfil his or her emptiness.<\/span><\/p>\n

Possessive attitude is the sign that one is not prepared to have a spouse. Selfishness in relation caused by an attitude of someone who is not a true single person. The relation with someone must not bother our relation with God. If he or she asks things which bother our growth or ministry that means that person is not suitable to be our partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

Focus on God will help us know whether someone is our future spouse or not. Focus on God will make the relation runs smoothly until the gate of marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n

Single is not alone… If you are alone, you could be lonely.. But <\/span>if you\u00a0 are a True Single person.. you may be alone, but you never be lonely..\u00a0 <\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

We come alone to this earth and we will also go home to heaven alone.. <\/span><\/p>\n

The closer we are to God, will make us realize more that He is the only One we need… We want to live only for Him.. Having a family on earth is good… but having a family in LB 3 is much,much better…<\/span><\/p>\n

Having a spouse here on earth is good <\/span>if it helps our ministry to satisfy God’s heart<\/b><\/i><\/span>… But having a spouse there in LB3 is much much better….<\/span><\/p>\n

I thank God with a family I have now, either a family I have because of marriage or a family I have in God’s church… but really… Being alone with God is something I am pursuing more fervently now… Because I do realize that when He called me home…He is the only One I have…<\/span><\/p>\n

And if you are still very young now, that doesn’t hinder you from making yourself have a true longing to be with God always.. to give your whole life to Him..<\/span><\/p>\n

You can be His blessing vessel to save, encourage many.. You maybe alone but you are never lonely..<\/span><\/p>\n

Because you have God and His family on earth.. Though, if He thinks you need a spouse… Let Him do\u00a0 like He did to Adam.. Adam was busy doing God’s work in Eden when God gave him Eve to help do His work on earth.. Focus and be busy in His work ya, and let Him give you the best you need to be .. a single or a married person..<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Ada beberapa bagian tulisan yang asik yang perlu saya perlu tuliskan ulang untuk mendapat perhatian kita.<\/p>\n

Genesis 2:18 is not about seeking for a partner of life. It is about the nature of man who is a social creature. Man cannot live alone, we need community, we need other people to live with, and not necessarily a spouse. Because the most needed person we need is God Himself.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kejadian 2:18 tidak berbicara tentang pencarian pasangan hidup. Tetapi tentang keberadaan manusia sebagai makhluk sosial. Kita tidak bisa hidup sendiri, kita memerlukan komunitas, kita membutuhkan orang lain dalam hidup, tetapi belum tentu seorang pasangan hidup. Karena pribadi yang paling kita butuhkan adalah Tuhan sendiri.<\/p>\n

It is true that not many are called to live unmarried, but it is better not to be married than married to a wrong person.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Benar bahwa tidak semua orang dipanggil untuk hidup selibat, tetapi adalah lebih baik tidak menikah daripada menikahi orang yang salah.<\/p>\n

Do not expect to find a partner just because we need someone to fill our emptiness. No body can fill our emptiness, do not be fooled. No one can do, except God Himself.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Jangan berharap menemukan pasangan hidup hanya karena kita membutuhkan seseorang mengisi kekosongan jiwa kita. Jangan bodoh, tidak ada satu orang pun yang bisa mengisi kekosongan jiwa kita, selain daripada TUHAN Yesus sendiri.<\/p>\n

The good time to have a partner of life is when we can live without anyone. A spouse is needed only to make us more effective in doing God’s will. A spouse must be someone who really loves God and does not need us to fulfill his or her emptiness.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Waktu paling tepat untuk memiliki seorang pasangan hidup adalah saat kita bisa hidup tanpa seorang pun. Pasangan hidup diperlukan untuk membuat kita semakin efektif mengerjakan kehendak Tuhan. Pasangan kita haruslah seseorang yang sungguh-sungguh mencintai Tuhan dan tidak membutuhkan kita untuk mengisi kekosongan jiwanya.<\/p>\n

Beberapa hari yang lalu, saya dan kekasih membicarakan mengenai hal ini. Dan kami setuju dengan pernyataan itu. Ketika kami bertemu, dan saat kami memutuskan menyatukan cinta, kami adalah dua orang yang \u201ctidak memerlukan satu dengan yang lain\u201d. Dia bisa mengerjakan apapun dalam hidupnya seorang diri, demikian juga dengan saya. Dia punya tanggung jawab pelayanan sendiri, dan begitu juga dengan saya. Saya tidak pernah bisa mengerjakan tanggung jawab yang Tuhan berikan kepadanya, demikian juga sebaliknya. Paling banter<\/em> hanya bisa membantu satu dengan yang lain. Tetapi kami tahu bahwa kami saling mengasah diri satu dengan yang lain membangun ketaatan dan ketundukan kepada kehendak Bapa di surga. Ada satu kalimat yang saling kami lemparkan satu dengan yang lain, \u201cSaya tidak bisa melengkapimu, karena engkaulah yang menyempurnakan hidupku\u201d. Kami saling mendorong untuk menyempurnakan satu dengan yang lain dalam kekudusan melayani Tuhan.<\/p>\n

Pernyataan berikut ini saya rasa harus ditangkap kawan-kawan kaum piyambakan. Kalau diterjemahkan ke bahasa Indonesia akan mengalami pergeseran makna, jadi silakan digarisbawahi sendiri di dalam hati ya.<\/p>\n

Single is not alone. If you are alone, you could be lonely. But if you are a true single person, you may be alone, but you never be lonely.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n

    \n\t
  1. [1]<\/sup><\/strong>Matthew 19:11 – The Message↩<\/a><\/li><\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    *) Piyambakan (bahasa Jawa): sendirian Lebih sering disebut dengan para jomblo \u2013 meski di sini saya lebih memilih menyebut dengan nama kaum piyambakan \u2013 adalah mereka yang tanpa kita sadar… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[288],"tags":[1180,1181,1179],"class_list":["post-3777","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-renungan","tag-jomblo","tag-piyambakan","tag-single"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/martianuswb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3777","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/martianuswb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/martianuswb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/martianuswb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/martianuswb.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3777"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/martianuswb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3777\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3827,"href":"https:\/\/martianuswb.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3777\/revisions\/3827"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/martianuswb.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3777"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/martianuswb.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3777"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/martianuswb.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3777"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}